Comments on: Self-Help Myths: Confidence http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/ One of the longest running and most respected productivity blogs on the net! Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:02:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: James http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-25411 James Fri, 22 Aug 2008 19:42:15 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-25411 Thanks for the comment Zoltan, it's hard to believe this post is over a year old now. While I think the fundamental message of my article remains true, it would probably be a good move to re-visit this topic with an updated post. Thanks for the comment Zoltan, it’s hard to believe this post is over a year old now. While I think the fundamental message of my article remains true, it would probably be a good move to re-visit this topic with an updated post.

]]> By: Zoltan http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-25400 Zoltan Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:03:02 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-25400 I agree with Nancy. If you are arrogant it does not mean that you have confidence. It's the same with self esteem. The noisier, the louder and the more arrogant you are, the lower your self esteem is. Arrogance comes from insecurity, so people who look overly confident are exactly the opposite; they lack self confidence. In that sense I don't think there is such a thing as too high self esteem or confidence. I agree with Nancy. If you are arrogant it does not mean that you have confidence. It’s the same with self esteem. The noisier, the louder and the more arrogant you are, the lower your self esteem is. Arrogance comes from insecurity, so people who look overly confident are exactly the opposite; they lack self confidence. In that sense I don’t think there is such a thing as too high self esteem or confidence.

]]> By: James http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-21231 James Sun, 17 Feb 2008 12:09:20 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-21231 My friend thought he was really good at football. His basis for this was his performance in thrown together games during lunch breaks at school, and playing alone at home in the garden. He was very confident about his abilities and decided to join a proper team. As soon as he started playing with people who were organized and professional he realized how lacking his skills really were and his confidence took a knock. I'm not saying confidence is always 100% based on how you compare to others, but it does play a large part in that. My friend thought he was really good at football. His basis for this was his performance in thrown together games during lunch breaks at school, and playing alone at home in the garden. He was very confident about his abilities and decided to join a proper team. As soon as he started playing with people who were organized and professional he realized how lacking his skills really were and his confidence took a knock.

I’m not saying confidence is always 100% based on how you compare to others, but it does play a large part in that.

]]> By: Douglas Woods http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-21168 Douglas Woods Fri, 15 Feb 2008 10:08:22 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-21168 I do feel that you are very much mistaken when you say confidence comes from how you compare to others. Confidence is how you feel about yourself inside and is quite independent of how others see you or, indeed, how you feel others see you. I do feel that you are very much mistaken when you say confidence comes from how you compare to others. Confidence is how you feel about yourself inside and is quite independent of how others see you or, indeed, how you feel others see you.

]]> By: James http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-12161 James Mon, 11 Jun 2007 07:42:04 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-12161 Ron, confident that you will succeed at your career, confident that you can perform a task, confident that you will emotionally/spiritually take the knocks that will come your way... it's all the same because you have to develop the mindset, tools and experience. Using your example, if you let every problem drag you down, not tell yourself to move on or look at the positives, then you won't be competent at dealing with those knock-backs. Ron, confident that you will succeed at your career, confident that you can perform a task, confident that you will emotionally/spiritually take the knocks that will come your way… it’s all the same because you have to develop the mindset, tools and experience. Using your example, if you let every problem drag you down, not tell yourself to move on or look at the positives, then you won’t be competent at dealing with those knock-backs.

]]> By: Ron http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-12140 Ron Sun, 10 Jun 2007 22:19:33 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-12140 Confidence (maybe even the type the gurus are talking about) isn't necessarily just about being confident that you will succeed at a particular task or project or career. It may be more about being confident that you will be emotionally/spiritually fine even if you don't succeed. Looked at this way, confidence is not the two-edged sword you describe. Confidence (maybe even the type the gurus are talking about) isn’t necessarily just about being confident that you will succeed at a particular task or project or career. It may be more about being confident that you will be emotionally/spiritually fine even if you don’t succeed. Looked at this way, confidence is not the two-edged sword you describe.

]]> By: James http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-12133 James Sun, 10 Jun 2007 20:21:49 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-12133 Thanks for the comment Nancy, it's interesting to read an alternative viewpoint. I do actually think our message is similar, we are just coming from different angles. I should stress I am not saying confidence and competence are the same quality. The latter leads to the former, providing you compare favorably to others. For example, if you are skilled at something yet unpleasant people constantly berate those skills you won't have high confidence. Another example is social confidence. If you are average at it, yet you are primarily in the company of those who are uncomfortable socializing, your confidence will be much higher as a consequence. That's why people of similar social skills gravitate together. Thanks for the comment Nancy, it’s interesting to read an alternative viewpoint. I do actually think our message is similar, we are just coming from different angles.

I should stress I am not saying confidence and competence are the same quality. The latter leads to the former, providing you compare favorably to others. For example, if you are skilled at something yet unpleasant people constantly berate those skills you won’t have high confidence.

Another example is social confidence. If you are average at it, yet you are primarily in the company of those who are uncomfortable socializing, your confidence will be much higher as a consequence. That’s why people of similar social skills gravitate together.

]]> By: Nancy Tierney http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-12132 Nancy Tierney Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:06:48 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-12132 If someone is cocky, arrogant, a bad driver and blind to their own weaknesses it does not mean they are confident. It means they are cocky, arrogant and unaware. Confidence is not the same quality as competence. You can be competent and not be connected to your confidence at all. No matter how much you work on your skills. And if you do become highly skilled and confident in a certain area, you're only confident in your ability to do that skill. My <a href="http://www.unconditionalconfidence.com/archives/122/" rel="nofollow">definition</a> of confidence, which I just defined over at my blog, varies a lot from your own. Please check it out. If someone is cocky, arrogant, a bad driver and blind to their own weaknesses it does not mean they are confident. It means they are cocky, arrogant and unaware. Confidence is not the same quality as competence. You can be competent and not be connected to your confidence at all. No matter how much you work on your skills. And if you do become highly skilled and confident in a certain area, you’re only confident in your ability to do that skill.

My definition of confidence, which I just defined over at my blog, varies a lot from your own. Please check it out.

]]> By: Sickr http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/comment-page-1/#comment-11985 Sickr Sat, 09 Jun 2007 15:42:30 +0000 http://www.organizeit.co.uk/2007/06/08/self-help-myths-confidence/#comment-11985 It's nice to read an honest view on a trait many of us need to improve on, rather than reading some new-age wishy-wash. It’s nice to read an honest view on a trait many of us need to improve on, rather than reading some new-age wishy-wash.

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