Trebonte, thinking things over before speaking is a great idea, too bad many do not follow suit. Thinking before spitting out ideas off the top of your head does two things. First off, it saves you from making as many embarrassing comments, or saying things that you may regret later. Secondly, do you ever notice that the more people talk mindlessly, the more you tend to pay less attention? On the other hand, people tend to really listen to people that have well thought out responses.

From my own experience, I can say that talking less and listening more is definitely a cornerstone of good conversation. It truly is frustrating when people talk on and on and not allow you to participate in a conversation. They truly are oblivious to their listener.

Just recently I’ve had someone ask me, “You haven’t said much, Justin. Don’t you want to add to the conversation?” and I didn’t at the time, but I laugh now at the irony of the question. By nature, I tend to listen and then speak up if I have something worth adding to the conversation. I’m not quick witted and I like to think things over first. But with some people my efforts to involve myself in a conversation get shot down. They don’t want to give up the reigns of a conversation.

You don’t let me get in a word in, nor do you actually listen when I speak. Then you wonder why I don’t chime in as much in a conversation with you. It’s not as if I had nothing to say but that you just wouldn’t allow me to. Why should I talk with you if you won’t even listen? It’s frustrating screaming into the wind and not enjoyable at all.